


Three's Company

by cygnaut



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Still Have Powers, Alternative Lifestyles, F/M, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Married Couple, Open Relationships, Polyamory, Threesome - F/M/M, dad jokes, dadneto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-30 15:03:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3941272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cygnaut/pseuds/cygnaut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erik has a really brilliant idea and a proposition for his friend Charles.</p><blockquote>
  <p>"I think we need a third person. A triad. Then we might have time to sleep and eat and--S.E.X..”</p>
  <p>“When do we have time to date, Erik?” Magda said. </p>
</blockquote>
            </blockquote>





	Three's Company

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this video and conversation](http://cygnaut.tumblr.com/post/118947549376/cygnaut-this-is-clearly-frustrated-dad-erik) with unforgotten/awfullythick as well as further prompting from firstlightofeos. Thanks to them both for beta reading!

“I think we need a third,” Erik said and handed Magda a sippy cup after he finished rinsing it. He plunged his hands back into the hot soapy water filling the sink. They hadn’t washed the dishes all week, which meant that every plate, glass, and plastic cup they owned was piled on the counter in a dirty stack.

“I already told you that I don’t think cloning is a good idea,” Magda said, swatting at Pietro, who was clinging to her legs and reaching out for the sippy cup. “Hold on, Pietro, I haven’t even filled it yet!”

“Well, obviously,” Erik said, rolling his eyes. “Then we’d have to raise the clone and we’d have a _fourth_ kid and that would defeat the whole purpose.”

“What purpose?” Magda said, clearly not following him. Possibly because Wanda had come into the room dragging the cat by its tail. “Put Furrite down right now, young lady!”

Wanda made an unhappy noise and let go of the poor cat, who ran yowling out of the kitchen.

Erik cleared his throat to get Magda’s attention back. “I mean, I think we need a third person. A triad. Then we might have time to sleep and eat and—S.E.X..”

“When do we have time to date, Erik?” Magda said. She handed the now full sippy cup to Pietro, who promptly took off the top and spilled orange juice down his front and all over the floor. Magda stopped herself from cursing and dragged him over to the sink.

Erik got out of her way and stooped to clean up the juice spreading across the floor. “I was actually thinking we could ask Charles,” he said. He made a face as he discovered a patch of dried oatmeal in the corner next to the fridge. “He’s a telepath; he’s into all kinds of freaky stuff. He told me he accidentally had a threesome last month.”

“How do you accidentally have a threesome?” Magda asked, struggling with Pietro as she tried to wipe his sticky hands.

“I guess he went home with some woman and they—got busy, and then her boyfriend came back?”

“Huh,” Magda said. She paused, looking off into the middle distance as they both contemplated the wonders of having sex any night you wanted with however many people you felt like doing it with. Erik hadn’t had the energy to have sex in over two months. The last time had been in early May at around 3am when he woke up with a raging erection and couldn’t get Magda to wake up and join him.

“I don’t know,” Magda said. “He babysits for us sometimes. He’s not going to want to get involved in _this._ ” She waved a hand to take in the complete disaster that is their kitchen, the house, and basically their entire life.

Anya chose that moment to come downstairs and announce, “The toilet’s clogged again!”

___

“I’m not saying, like, a serious relationship,” Erik said, shouting as he tried futilely to plunge the toilet. It looked like someone had tried to flush an entire roll of toilet paper at once. “It’d be like now, but, you know, friends with benefits.”

Magda came into the bathroom carrying a load of clean towels. “So you want a part-time nanny who also has sex with us and helps around the house and sometimes watches the kids so we can go to the movies?”

“Pretty much?”

“Wow, how could he say no?” Magda said, stuffing the towels into the closet on top of the bathtime Noah’s ark playset.

Erik chose to ignore her sarcasm. “If he accepts, maybe we could pay him with sex instead of cash next time he babysits!”

“Who’s going to be watching the kids while we have this hypothetical threesome?”

Erik paused, not having thought this scenario through to its conclusion. “We’ll stay up after they go to bed?”

“Right,” Magda said, rolling her eyes. They hadn’t been able to stay awake past 10pm in years. Erik was now four seasons behind on both Mad Men and the Walking Dead. He figured he could always binge watch them after the twins left for college.

____

The first time they had met at work, Charles had made the mistake of complimenting Erik on his family. He had picked up a photo from Erik's desk that showed Magda holding Anya and the twins in her lap—immediately after it was taken, Wanda had vomited all over both Magda and her brother—and had remarked that Erik had a beautiful family and he hoped to have kids himself some day.

Erik had ranted at him for nearly an hour about how awful it was having children and how people without kids had _no idea_ what they were getting into. He had expounded at length on his theory that the only reason the human species had managed to propagate itself through the ages was because of a concerted conspiracy to convince idiots that having children was a beautiful, blissful experience.

Shortly after, Charles had made the mistake of asking Erik's opinions on navigating a mutant/human relationship and had been treated to an even longer rant about that. (It wasn’t _humans_ that were the problem, in Erik’s opinion, but the prejudiced idiots who made his and Magda’s lives difficult.) 

Erik figured that if Charles had seen him like that and still wanted to be friends with him, there wasn’t much else that could ruin their relationship. Still, Charles was not _quite_ as enthusiastic as Erik had hoped when he first broached the topic over lunch.

"Wait, what?" Charles said. "Was that a proposition?"

Erik flinched, looking down at his double red eye with an extra shot. "I mean, no pressure, it was just something I was thinking about the other day and I thought it might be something you'd be into, but if you're not that's totally—"

"Are you asking to have an affair with me?" Charles said, sounding decidedly horrified. "Because I know I met you first, but I consider Magda a friend now and I wouldn't feel right about it—"

"No!" Erik said quickly. "No, no, not an affair. I meant do you want to sleep with _both_ of us." Erik was speaking too loudly now in his rush to correct Charles, and he realized half the tables around them must have heard that. He coughed and continued in a slightly softer tone. "Together or separately, or however you like, but as a regular thing. Probably separately more often because it's hard for us to find another sitter unless my mom can take them for the weekend, but we could make it work if you prefer threesomes."

Charles blinked. "You guys are poly?"

"Sort of?" Erik said. "Early on we were. I dated casually and Magda had another girlfriend for a while and sometimes they..." Erik shrugged to indicate 'let me watch.' "But they broke up and then we had kids and we were way too busy to go looking for another partner. But we both like you and think you're hot, so if you're interested it'd be—nice?"

Charles took a sip of his latte, looking thoughtful. "Let me think about it?"

"Of course! And by all means, don't feel bad if the answer is no. It be really conven—perfect if you were into us since you're over at our house so often anyway, but we don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything, and we'd never want to ruin—"

“I’d still want to get paid when I babysit," Charles said, interrupting Erik’s thought. "No offense, but no blow job is worth that."

"Right," Erik said, nodding vigorously.

Charles nodded back and set his cup down with finality. "Okay, yes."

"Yes?" Erik said, afraid to hope what Charles was agreeing to.

"I'm in. Could I come over for dinner on Friday? I feel like we should talk this over before starting any hanky panky." Charles waved his hand back-and-forth between them while Erik considered whether he actually wanted to have sex with someone who called it 'hanky panky.'

Charles licked his lips, running his tongue across his lower lip, which was sinfully red like he'd been up to something illicit in the bathroom. Charles pretty much always looked like he had been up to something illicit in the bathroom.

Who the hell was Erik kidding. "I'll check with Magda and clear our schedule."

____

Erik _tried_ to be home on time on Friday—God knows, he tried—but, of course, karate practice ran over, which meant that he had to wait twenty minutes to pick up Anya, which meant that he spent an extra thirty minutes in rush-hour traffic before he got across town to his mother’s house and finally managed to drop off Anya and the twins.

“Thanks, Mom,” Erik said, passing over the twins’ diaper bag and Anya’s backpack. “Magda and I both really appreciate having a night off.”

“Of course,” his mom said. “You know I love hosting sleepovers.” She picked up Wanda, who was tugging on her shirt, and then winked at Erik. “Now go home and start working on my fourth grandchild.”

“Uh huh,” Erik said weakly. The last time he had almost come inside Magda without a condom on she’d punched him so hard he’d had bruises on his arm for weeks. He’d startled badly and rolled right off the bed yelling “ _domestic violence!_ ” while she laughed at him.

When Erik got home the dining room and kitchen was surprisingly empty. The oven was preheating and there was an open bottle of wine next to the salad bowl, so clearly Magda and Charles had _started_ making dinner. Erik poured himself a glass of wine and went searching for them.

They weren’t out back on the deck or in the living room. They weren’t in the basement either, although Erik didn’t know why they would be down there unless they wanted to play with Anya’s X-Box. Erik heard some suspicious thumps coming from the empty laundry room and then remembered that it was directly connected to the master bedroom via the laundry chute.

Sure enough, he found Charles and Magda in the bedroom, Magda on her back with her skirt hiked up around her stomach while Charles was lying with his head between her legs. She giggled when she heard the door open and waved. “Oh, hi, Erik.”

“What the hell?” Erik asked. “You couldn’t wait _twenty minutes_ for me?”

Magda shrugged as he unzipped his pants with a flick of one finger. “You were late.”

“Sorry,” Charles said, lifting his head to look over his shoulder with a contrite expression. His face was slick and flushed already. “We probably should have waited until you got back so we could talk about, you know, boundaries and things—”

Magda grabbed a fistful of his hair and dragged him back down between her legs. “Talk later,” she said. Charles went back eagerly and Magda raised one leg up and hooked her ankle around the back of his neck for good measure.

Erik kicked off his pants and sat on the edge of the bed to take off his socks. Magda always made fun of him if he left his socks on. He sipped his wine and watched Charles work. Erik was reluctantly impressed. The man knew how to lick cunt even if he didn’t know Magda’s personal quirks.

“Try sucking on her clit,” Erik suggested.

Magda swatted him. “Don’t backseat drive,” she said, her voice starting to get breathy.

Erik crawled up the bed to kiss her in response. After a few distracted kisses from Magda, he carefully set his wineglass down on the nightstand and rearranged the pillows so they were both sitting comfortably against the headboard. Erik was pretty tired, so it was nice to just lie there and make out with her without moving very much. It was also nice to watch Magda have a stunning series of orgasms without having to do any work.

“That was great,” Magda said, slumping down to lie bonelessly on the bed once she had had enough. “You have a really great mouth.”

“Yeah,” Erik agreed. He had his eyes closed and was thinking how nice it would be to take a nap when he felt Charles’ hands tugging on the waistband of his boxers. He blinked his eyes open sleepily to find Charles kneeling over him. “Oh, that’s okay, I’m pretty tired.”

“You don’t look tired,” Charles said, smirking as he took out Erik’s erection. He pumped his hand a few times and Erik let out a muttered curse.

“I _am_ ,” Erik said. “I mean, don’t stop, but I’m really tired. So don’t be mad if I fall asleep.”

“Sometimes he falls asleep on top of me,” Magda said, turning over on the bed to watch with interest as Charles continued stroking Erik’s cock.

“No comments from the peanut gallery,” Erik said, shifting backward to sit up. Charles adjusted his stance so he was kneeling comfortably between Erik’s legs. “That was one time and I fell asleep because _it was_ _the middle of the night._ ”

“After _you_ woke me up to have sex!” Magda said, waving her hand in annoyance.

“No fighting in the bedroom,” Charles said, and ducked his head to take Erik in his mouth. It turned out Charles was just as talented with cock as he was with cunt, much to Erik’s delight. He came in record speed while Magda chatted amiably about Charles’ technique and tweaked his nipples.

It was fantastic. Erik fell asleep immediately afterward.

He woke up an hour later to find himself under the covers with his pants off. He was alone in the bedroom, but he could hear laughter coming from downstairs and the sound of a suspiciously familiar animated musical.

Erik searched around for his boxers and changed out of his stained shirt into a clean one. Once he was reasonably presentable, he wandered downstairs to find Charles and Magda curled up on the couch together.

"Popcorn?" Charles asked, holding out the bowl. Erik took it from him and sat down, spilling several kernels in the process.

"This was such a good idea." Erik said and shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth. He was starving now since he hadn’t had dinner. He’d have to go finish the tenderloin Magda and Charles had started preparing earlier and abandoned in favor of each other’s tender loins.

"Shhh," Magda said. "This is my favorite part!" Elsa was about to sing _Let It Go._

“Oh, is _this_ what that song is from?” Charles asked, taking the popcorn back from Erik.

“Duh,” Magda said.

“How do you not know that?” Erik asked.

“I’ve never seen this movie!” Charles said.

“How have you not seen this movie?”

Magda cleared her throat angrily. “Guys, shhh!”

Erik sighed and ate some more popcorn. After a few bites, he leaned over and whispered in Charles’s ear, “Sorry I passed out. Did you finish without me?”

“Of course!” Magda said. “I got him off, I’m not rude!”

Charles laughed and he and Magda exchanged a filthy smile that would have made Erik jealous if it didn’t turn him on so much.

“Just checking,” Erik muttered.

“He fucked me next to you,” Magda added, taking the popcorn bowl from him.

“Dammit,” Erik said. “I can’t believe I slept through that.”

“There’ll be other opportunities,” Charles said. “I’m ready for another round whenever you are, and we have all night.”

Erik looked at his watch and hit the pause button on the remote. “We should start now then, our bedtime is in an hour.”

“What?” Charles said. “It’s only 8! I need to see how this ends.” He waved at the screen where the snowman sidekick was now frozen in mid-goofy pose.

“Don’t worry,” Erik said, taking his outstretched arm and using it to coax him up from the couch. “Stick around here and you’ll see it a _lot_.”

“We play it approximately five times a day,” Magda said, pulling herself up from the couch to follow them.

“Bring the popcorn,” Erik said.

“Kinky,” Charles said, calling over his shoulder as Erik shoved him up the stairs.

“Not for sex,” Erik said. “I’m starving.”

“I’m bringing the wine too,” Magda called.

“Good!” Charles said and laughed as Erik nudged him into the bedroom and pushed him down on the bed. “Feeling reenergized?”

“You don’t know the half of it,” Erik said, leaning down to kiss his red mouth and discovering that Charles was also extremely good at kissing. Erik knew this would be a good idea. As soon as Magda got up here, he was going to tell her “I told you so.”

Assuming, of course, he was coherent enough to speak.

 


End file.
